The Meat Grinder is one writer's attempt to comment on the world of college cross country. It is written by ben wietmarschen and should be taken absolutely seriously.
Years ago, when I used to play Nintendo 64 on a regular basis, one of my favorite games was All Star Baseball 2000. In it, I was always the Cincinnati Reds, of course, and I always loved to play it on season mode. That way, I got all the excitement of a pennant race boiled down to a couple glorious days of video game play and shouts of "get a life" from my dad upstairs.
When I used to play video games (sadly, that period of my life is over, but not forgotten) I would really get into it. I mean, I would do play by play announcing, the game had a computerized play by play guy but he only would comment on big plays like home runs or errors, I would fill in the blanks with foul balls and grounders to second. I would also be the color man and fill the "audience" in on little comments about my team such as "Barry Larkin is having quite a season, huh Lou (what I called the computer play by play guy)? Do I smell a second MVP crown?" and "Wow, Lou, isn't Sean Casey a big slow pussy?" You know, normal 14 year old kid stuff. Right?
Anyway, at the beginning of every new season I started, as the little electronic Reds scurried onto the field, the video game announcer's first line would always be "Welcome to Cincinnnati everyone. It's opening day of a brand new season, where EVERYone's a contender!"
For some reason I have always remembered that line. Mainly because I quit and started new seasons every time I lost a game, which was often (slow thumbs). But I like to think I remembered it because it is one of those strange symbols of how cool sports are. No matter how crappy someone plays or how bad a team is, the slate is wiped clean the next year. Hope is ALWAYS on the horizon. Sports are one thing in life where hope and wild expectations NEVER completely die. 0 and 16? Wait till next year. Go 2 and 16 in conference play? We got a 7 footer coming in next year! Even if you lose hope as early as one quarter into the new season, it always starts over eventually and if you're a sports fan you can't help but hope for the best when that happens, even if that hope is ludicrous.
There has never been an NFL season where I didn't legitimately think the Bengals would make the playoffs before week one, and there has never been a college basketball season where I wasn't sure the Cincinnati Bearcats would make a run to the Final Four. I don't know how close you follow sports, dear reader, but those two things have actually happened a combined total of three times in my life. That is FORTY-FOUR out of forty-seven times I have legitimately thought something was going to happen and it didn't. Very often, it did not come close to happening.
And it is something beyond simple pie in the sky hope. I will have mental pictures of players making big plays against rival teams and celebrating a win after all these years of disappointment. I can't tell you how many times I've pictured players like Jeff Blake or Akili Smith leading 2 minute drills down the field to chalk up another win on the Bengals 10 and 0 season. Do you understand how unbelievably insane that is?! It's embarrasing really. As a sports fan, though, it comes with the territory.
College cross country is no different. There was not one year when I started a cross country season thinking that we would not make nationals. That is all I wanted for my entire college career was for my team to make the NCAA national championship meet, and every year I really thought we could do it. We never did.
"This guy had a great summer and that guy really made a jump last year on the track combined with our two studs up front and me being a year stronger and more confident, I really think we might do this!" It would take over my thoughts all summer and into early fall for five straight years.
While my teams never made nationals and, it could be argued, were never really close, I would not trade in that hope and excitement for anything. The rush a runner gets from thinking about the amazing things that could happen on a cross country course and the celebration with his mates afterward is a unique and phenomenal feeling, second only to the 1 time out of 100 that he actually achieves what he previously could only dream of.
The excitement is usually cultivated during the long summer months of training, sustains through any early season meets against local teams and then runs into the first big inviational of the season. And reality.
And this is where we find ourselves in this cross country season. At the beginning, where EVERYone's a contender. If there are teams heading out on the course this weekend that do not have some wild hope in their heart that they will exceed all expectations and achieve something that they have no business hoping for, then they should just pack it up and drive home, because they are not cross country runners, they are joggers, and their local gym has a treadmill available for their use.
Below is the Weekend Preview. It includes all the information you need to be ready for this coming weekend of cross country, and more!
Biggest Meet of The Weekend
Minnesota Roy Griak Invitational
Minnesota (9)
New Mexico (15)
Auburn (25)
Iowa St. (29)
BYU (30)
Arizona St.
Ohio St.
Missouri
The Griak Invitational kicks off the competitive cross country season every year and it is glorious. The course in Minnesota is beautiful with rolling hills and golf course footing, and is always really crowded. The times are usually fair, if not a little fast, and are a perfect benchmark for assessing early season fitness.
As for the team race, the Golden Gophers are in a position to win their home meet for the first time ever but will not be able to just run away with it as New Mexico's presence will keep them honest.
The real race here will be for spots three through six as this is a spectacular chance for teams that will most likely be on the bubble come regional time. Iowa St., BYU, Arizona St., Ohio St., and Missouri will all be likely at-large candidates after regionals and what they do here is going to be very important down the line.
The key will be getting points by sneaking in front of Auburn, who has a strong chance of automatically qualifying out of the weak south region. This is going to be one of those meets that will confuse everything when we try to figure out who's going dancing in November.
Other Meets of the Weekend Where Ranked Teams Will Be Competing
Stanford Invitational: Stanford (11), California (19), Cal Poly 'B' (21), Arkansas (22), UCLA
-Our first look at a Stanford squad that only returns one scorer, Hakon Devries, from last year's 19th place team. Did they reload enough to be the 11th best team in the nation? Are they low hanging fruit for the rival Golden Bears? Just how ugly is it going to be for Arkansas this year? Questions, questions, questions.
W&M Colonial Inter-regional: Georgetown?(10) William & Mary (23), Michigan St.
-Georgetown lists this on
their schedule (on the scroll bar at the top) but they are not included in the list of teams competing on the
William & Mary release. It's kind of like if Penn St. had a football game scheduled for this weekend but we weren't sure if they were playing Clemson or having an intrasquad scrimmage. EFFF this bootleg crap!
Florida State Invitational: Florida State (24)
ECU Invitational: NC St. (16)
Underdog of the Weekend
I like BYU to go into Griak and beat all but Minnesota. They had a very deep team last year with the best 7th man in the nation (how about THAT for a stat) and three solid guys coming back from their 22nd finish at NCAA's. Plus, let's not forget how a former Cougar, Kip Kangogo (remember him?), used to dominate on this course. Coach Eyestone knows this meet means a lot for them if they want to qualify in November.
Overdog of the Weekend
Florida State will dominate their own invitational. After that, they will paint their faces red and gold and pretend like their football team is still relevant.
Song to listen to before the race this weekend that will make you want to shotput a Volkswagon
At The Drive-In -- "One Armed Scissor"
One of the biggest disappointments of my life as a music listener is that I did not get into At The Drive-In until they broke up in 2001, thus rendering me unable to see them live. Apparently, they would destroy audiences live on a regular basis.
Still, I used to constantly rock this record, "Relationship of Command" dorm room style, meaning loud and with my door open hoping some cool, hot chick was walking by and be suddenly intrigued by my hip, unassuming musical taste. And we would become lovers. Sadly, it only attracted my sweaty RA, Greg, and his tendency to enjoy sitting on my bean bag chair until he had completely farted out the single serving Hormel chili that he had just polished off.
"One Armed Scissor" was their biggest hit by far and deserved to be. It's intense.
Coach that has the most to prove this weekend
Jason Dunn was an overachiever at Virginia. He clawed his way to making Virginia a legit, consistent top 15 distance program. Top 15 will get him little more than a forced smile and fast handshake at Stanford. They expect top 10 and an occassional national championship on the farm. There is no reason to think Dunn won't be able to accomplish this, but he is starting his Stanford career with a good not great returning team and a few stud freshmen, including Chris Derrick. Beating the Cardinal's rival, Cal, convincingly would be a huge way to start his first season.
Song that won't make you feel like throwing anything, but is still good.
The National -- "Fake Empire"
The National is one of my top five favorite bands. They are originally from Cincinnati and now live in Brooklyn (just like a guy I know,
his name is ME!!), but that is not the only reason I like them. The singer, Matt Berninger, has a great, distinctive drone in his voice and his lyrics are appropriately sad and obscure and weirdly self-depracating at points and they are great.
"Fake Empire" is probably the best opening track of any album ever. It builds soft and steady with the piano and the snare, like your walking down the street, pleasantly drunk, chatting lazily with friends, on your way home from a going away party for your good but not best friend, and then the drums kick in and you want to climb the tallest building possible and sit in a lawn chair, feel the crisp night breeze, and just look at the city skyline while you smoke a cigarette, drink a beer, and proclaim that you don't understand this world, but that's OK, dammit. Get ready, folks, this stuff is evocative.
Restaurant to stop at on your way home from your race
Dairy Queen
Sure, you could go through the formality of ordering a hamburger and fries, and maybe even a drink. But if you got stones, you'll just soldier straight through to that giant Reese's Piecees Blizzard. OOHH those luscious bits of chocolate and peanut butter infused in disproportionate chunks as you wade through a mountain of sweet vanilla soft serve. A thing of beauty.
Runner who has the most to prove this weekend
The Minnesota duo of Chris Rumbough and Hassan Mead will be at the front of the Griak pack and would make a huge statement by finishing together in the top 5. If Minnesota wants to steal the Big Ten from Wisconsin and Michigan this season, they will need Rombough to hold his spot on the verge of top 10 in the nation and Mead to take that sophomore year leap into the same territory.
Football game of the weekend
"The Battle of Ohio": Cincinnati Bengals (0-3) vs. Cleveland Browns (0-3). Sunday 1pm
Sure, there may be better teams (in the SEC) and better coaches (in your son's pee-wee league), but dammit if this game isn't super exciting every year. In the last three seasons, I'm pretty sure the two teams have combined for 1,283 points and 52 turnovers in their two games a year against each other. I have a feeling that the winner of this game is going to turn it around and make the playoffs this season. There, I said it. Who-Dey
How many beers I will have to drink before I think the Bengals have a chance of winning this weekend
0, but I'm sure it will take at least two per quarter to keep my current state of confidence.
Acitivity to Best Pass Time on the Van/Bus/Plane Ride to and From the Meet
"Catch Phrase"
The first time I played catch phrase was in a van on the way to the Penn State Spiked Shoe Invitational. I almost cut a dear friend of mine with a discarded can of Country Time lemonade because he said I didn't pass it in time. I'm not proud of that, but it's true.
If you don't know what "Catch Phrase" is,
go here. It gets pretty intense pretty quickly. Catch Phrase in a team van combines two things I love: describing stuff and throwing small electronics, all while jumping around and shouting in a small, closed space.
Beer to enjoy responsibly (and only if you're over 21) at your post-race party
The Poet Oatmeal Stout (New Holland Brewing)
It's still early in the season so there is no reason to watch your weight and you still have money left from your summer job, so go ahead and splurge on this scrumptious Micro Brew. It is from the New Holland Brewing Company in Michigan, so you non-midwesterners may be unable to enjoy. The Poet is dark and flavorful but not overbearing like crappy stouts. It makes you yearn for a simple cabin in the woods during a crisp early autumn evening with only a typewriter and a sheepdog named Max to keep you company. Also try New Holland's Pumpkin Ale, good shit.
First Date Idea for the Chick/Dude you meet at the Post-Race Party
A Concert
Concerts are great for a number of reasons: Constant conversation is unnecessary (just watch the band), since it's so crowded you can fart and easily blame it on someone else, and it serves as the perfect conversation starter (before the show: "what type of music do you listen to? who is playing at your dream concert? what was the best concert you've ever been to? blahblahblah After the show: did you like it? What was your favorite song? I bought the cd, do you want to bone to it later?).
For more great first date advice, go to the most logical source:
Texas Tech's Football Coach.
Over-the-Top Inspirational Pre Race Pep Talk Quote of the weekend
"In war (or a race) there is but one favorable moment ; the great art is to seize it!"
- Napoleon Bonaparte
That's it for this week's Meat Grinder. Please leave any feedback in the comments section or sent to my email address below. More importantly, let us all know what you think of this upcoming weekend. Remember, like my mom always said: "If you have nothing nice to say, say it anonymously in the comments section of an internet article." Thanks Mom.
