The Meat Grinder: Weekend Recap (9/22/08)

The Meat Grinder Weekend Recap is one writer's attempt to comment on the past weekend of college cross country racing and includes a Weekly Top Ten at the bottom.  It is written by ben wietmarschen who has a bad case of the Mondays that he's pretty sure he caught from the toilet seat in that one bar he went to on Saturday.  He swears it was a toilet seat, though.  Either way, it's painful. 

Imagine I just invited you over to my apartment for a dinner and dancing party.  I came up to you and said, "hey, person, I am going to have a dinner and dancing party, I am friends with all the coolest, most attractive eaters and dancers around.  It's on Saturday, come on over."

You would say, "Super sweet, I hear ben has a lot of good food at his apartment and he knows A LOT of really attractive men or women that I can dance with depending on my individual gender of preference in a dance partner.  This will most definitey be better than just eating and dancing by myself in my own apartment."  You would be pumped.

So, you get dressed up in your finest tuxedo printed t-shirt and Dockers flat front khakis, and you head to my apartment.  It's a long walk through some very sketchy neighborhoods, but you don't mind because you know once you get to my apartment, you'll have the chance to eat delicious food and dance with tremendously attractive people.  Maybe you will go home with one of them.  Don't get ahead of yourself.

You ring the door bell, I buzz you in, and you can hear a techno version of "The Sign" by Ace of Base pulsing through the hallway as you climb the steps.

"Gaw-LEE, this is gonna be fun," you say out loud to yourself.

The door is open so you just walk in.  I greet you with a weak handshake and a soggy bag of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers from Wendy's.  "There's cans of RC cola in the fridge" I yell into your ear. 

As you move deeper into the apartment you come to the realization that, while there is technically dinner (JBC's and RC) and dancing (two dudes trying to teach each other "the snake"), it is not at all how you pictured it.  "ben is a filthy liar!" you yell.

"No sir, dinner and dancing is what I promised and I delivered.  Just because I am a great cook and I am friends with all sorts of attractive, fun people, that doesn't mean I am going to waste that stuff on your broke ass." 

So you eat your bacon cheeseburgers, drink a few cans of RC, vomit, and learn a rudimentary version of "the snake" and you go home that night a little irked at the less than spectacular time that I showed you.  You're a little pissed right?

This hypothetical situation would never happen in real life.  If I invite you over to my place for a dinner and dancing party it is going to be the absolute best food and best group of friends that I can possibly manage (even if I have to "pay" said "friends").  If I have a party in MY apartment, I want people to have a good time and I want to show them that I have my shit together, not that I am some slob who thinks its alright for a human being to drink RC cola.  I want people to walk away thinking "damn, ben is one hardcore party host."

Similarly, if I were to host a big time cross country meet on my home course, I would want people to walk away knowing that my team has their shit together.  That we are not to be messed with in our house.  Sure, I would realize that it is still early in the season and that being rested and healthy is the top priority and that the meets that really "count" are later in the season, but I would still do everything I possibly could to prove that we are not going to be beat on our home course in our own meet.

But that is just me.  What do I know?

This past weekend was solid.  Some top teams dipped their toes in to test the NCAA XC waters and they quickly realized that, this year, the water is hot.  And kind of smells like pennies.

What follows is The Meat Grinder's Weekly Top Ten.  The rankings are based on a very complicated scientific formula and my inability to predict the future.  The team's name is followed by their "official" national ranking.   The list is to be read quietly and then violently disagreed with on the comments. 

1.  Oregon (1) - The Ducks received all 12 of the first place votes in the national poll.  This fact begs the question: why are there only 12 guys voting on the national poll?  I imagine a late night poker game somewhere in the Indianapolis suburbs where 12 bushy mustached men take a break from the poker game to order a pizza and get this "gosh-danged cross country poll out of the way."  There is nothing to say about Oregon in particular except: they's good, they's real good.

2.  Wisconsin (6) - This is the first season in a while where a Big Ten title is not a foregone conclusion for the Badgers.  They have had challengers before, but never as good as Michigan and Minnesota are this year.  They are still the favorites in the conference, but the room for error is minimal.

3.  Oklahoma State (2) - The Cowboys first race as a complete team will be the most important debut of any team this season.  Will they come out of the gates like Tom Joad, confident in their capabilities and certain of their purpose, or like Connie, impotent dreamers quick to give up and run away rather than face hardship, or perhaps like Grampa, full of piss and vinegar but so old and belligerent that eventually we will have to drug them and load them on to our overloaded pick up truck so that they don't stay on the farm and starve to death.  Wow, that metaphor got a little out of hand, didn't it?

4.  Alabama (5) - Alabama hung up a perfect 15 on the "competition" at their home meet this past weekend.  This team is really good.  There always seems to be a Kenyan-dominated team that just blows the doors off during the season and looks like a real title contender and then quietly sinks to 7th or 8th at the championship.  The Elephants might be that team and they also might be the team that ends that trend.  Either way, they will raise eyebrows during the season and will end Arkansas' streak of 257 consecutive SEC championships.

5.  Georgetown (10) - The Hoyas are still the wild card on this list.  It looks like they will either be at the Notre Dame Invitational or the Bill Dellinger Invitational in Eugene in two weekends for their first chance to show us what they got.

6.  Michigan (8) - The Wolverines looked pretty good at Van Cortland Park this weekend against Penn State and a less than full stregth Iona team, but that is too be expected.  It was upsetting to see Michigan bring it and Iona not even show up to their own party, but hey, such is college cross country.  I have a hard time rooting for Michigan because they are kind of like the snobbish yuppies in an otherwise blue collar Big Ten Conference.

7. Portland (7) - Even with the injury that David Kinsella is apparently still dealing with, the Pilots return a lot of guys from a successul team last year AND have a freshman named Alfred Kipchumba from this little country called Kenya, ever heard of it?  He's supposed to be good.  Those crafty Purple Pilots are playing their cards close to their chest with this guy, they obviously don't want us to know anything about him.

8.  Minnesota (9) - The Golden Gophers return all but their 3rd and 4th man from last year's 8th place team.  They will get started in earnest as they host the Roy Griak Invitational next weekend.  Something tells me they will not be "resting" any of their top guys as they will need all the at-large points they can get in a tough Great Lakes region.  Also, if you are heading out to the Minnesota area for the meet and have to kill time before your flight back home in Minneapolis, DO NOT go to the Mall of America.  I don't care if they have a roller coaster in there, it's still just a crowded mall and it still sucks.

9.  Colorado (3) - At this point, the Colorado Buffaloes are not ranked ninth in this poll, Mark Wetmore is ranked ninth.  There is no reason for Colorado receiving a 3rd place national ranking from the "official" pollsters.  Their talent pool is just plain thin this year and that happens, they can have an off year every once in a while.  Wetmore's famous ability to get absulotely everything out of less talented runners will be tested big time this year. 

10.  Iona (4) - The Gaels have a lot to prove this year.  That is why I was so suprised they rested their guys on their own course against a good but not unbeatable Michigan team this past weekend.  Get out there and test yourself on your own turf and maybe pick up some confidence from beating Michigan.  Instead, they will run the risk of going to Paul Short in two weeks and Pre-Nationals and just fade into the background.

Thus ends The Meat Grinder's Weekend Recap and I couldn't be happier with how it went.  I hope it was as fun for you as it was for me.  The Grinder will be back Thursday to preview a big weekend of racing in the Midwest (Griak and Loyola) and the coasts (Stanford and William & Mary), so be sure to stop back.

--ben@trackshark.com

Check that

03:11, Tuesday, September 23, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

Neuman 3:45, 13:45
Tebo 8:10, 13:53
Medina 13:51
Harkrader 13:54
Pannone 14:00, 28:49
Kyle 14:03, 29:14

Does any other team in the NCAA have 6 guys at 14:03 or better???

hogwash

03:49, Tuesday, September 23, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

this entire entry makes me laugh out loud. your house party analogy is horrible.

Buffs Fly Together

07:38, Tuesday, September 23, 2008 .. Posted by JRunnerJ

I'm a big Wetmore fan, and I expect to see Colorado popping into the Top 5, for sure... maybe even 3rd on the right day.

But I'd just like to point out that having 6 guys run 14:03 is only useful for those times when college cross country races are 5 kilometers long and run on a track.

Which is never. To wit: Harkrader... 14:10 in 2005, 75th at Nationals in Cross in 2007. Neuman... 14:02 in 2007, 70th at Nationals in Cross. Even figuring in their improvement on the track, the bottom line is that 14-flats look good on paper, but put you on pace for the 300-point neighborhood. Which would have been 8th last year...

Are you serious?

11:29, Tuesday, September 23, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

First, Wisconsin will not be 2nd. Mark my words. They have lost Lacy, Bethke, and Jagre, and they are facing early injury problems. Second, Colorado as 9? Name one other team that can match their 5k PR's. You have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. How about you go make yourself useful and start posting dyestat or something. You are an embarrassment to TrackShark.

good stuff

07:45, Wednesday, September 24, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

Good work on the article. Prognosticating and ranking are always fun.

As for the Badgers, they still have Bolas, Eagon, Wagner, Withrow, Gasper, Miller, and Peacock, then they throw Finnerty in the mix. And wasn't Jager more of a miler anyways? Sure the guys they lost are going to hurt them, but they're still gonna be pretty damn tough.
Also, where did Lacy go? He's still listed on their roster.