Blogs : Stevan Lara

You Might Be A Runner If...

You might be a runner if…
...you need a magnifying glass to see your name in the newspaper.
...people say, "you run three miles...at once?"
...you go to a golf course to run.
...you combine phrases like "10 mile run" and "easy run" in the same breath.
...you enjoy running hills.
...you’re running in your dreams.
..."chariots of fire" is actually entertaining to you.
...you don't know what an "off-season" means.
...your calves are bigger than your biceps.
...you can pronounce those ridiculous kenyan names.
...you wake up in the morning and find that you’re already running.
…your sport is other sports' punishment.
…your heart rate is below 50 and you are not dying.
…ibuprofen is your recreational drug of choice.
…your feet look like you've spent 10 years in a vietnamese p.o.w. camp.
…you look into the toilet before a big race to inspect the size of the log you just dropped.
…a football game has 12:39 remaining and a 5’3” ethiopian man comes to mind.
…you don't laugh every time you hear fartlek.
…you are from the US and you think in terms of meters not feet or yards.
…all your white shirts have mud spots up the back of them.
…while everyone is sleeping you are up running, and while everyone is awake you are sleeping.
…you have 5% body fat yet you don’t live in somalia.
…you feel one second is a lot of time.
…you understand the speed limit signs in Canada.
…you can name a person from namibia, djibouti and zimbabwe.
…you've said "she'd be one hell of a pole vaulter" at a strip club.< I don't think this person should be at strip club...
…your school notebooks are covered with split times.
...you run.
…you're a guy, you weigh 140 pounds, and you're trying to lose weight.
…you know at least three comebacks to “run forrest run.”
…you go backpacking for two weeks in the mountains and get out of shape.
…you time the splits of little old ladies jogging around the track "just in case"
…you can name every runner within 100 mile radius who has pr’s faster than yours.
…you almost wish that a pickpocket would grab your wallet so that you could chase him down.
…a "ladder" has nothing to do with home maintenance.
…"quarters" are not a monetary unit.
…you have a hard time turning to the right.
…it's obvious that wilson kipketer and wilson boit kipketer are two different people.
…a car honk makes your middle finger rise into the air by reflex. < I do that when I walk!
...your pin number for your atm is a personal record.
...finishers ribbons are definitely not keepers.
...you waste ridiculous amounts of time engaged in meaningless arguments and discussions about running.
…you actually recognize soccer as a sport.
...you think there needs to be a fourth movie made about the life of steve prefontaine.
…you can easily recognize the difference between gatorade and powerade.
...when a non-runner asks you if you "jog" you have to fight the urge to punch them in the face.
…your email address contains something to do with running.
…the "dont walk" sign means "run"
…you don't think adding onto a run for two minutes is a ridiculous idea.
...you have all the answers as to how alan webb should proceed with his career.
…you think people who wear those water packs/belts are pussies.
…you haven't made it to the toilet or the woods fast enough more than once.
…port-a-johns are a luxury.
…you wish lance armstrong would run a 10k.
…you say things like "long and hard" to your female friends and it is not a sexual innuendo.
…you can get drunk at the bar for $2.50.
…it is no longer possible to sprain your ankles.
…you set your alarm for 6 am on the weekend.
…you'll run 18 miles but must find the perfect spot at the grocery store because you hate to walk.
…you plan your meals around your workouts.
...you think that it's unfair that a magazine entitled "road & track" is all about cars.
…when you run on trails and trip over a stump, you get your watch stopped before you hit the ground.
…the offensive linemen at your college sit in awe at how much you can eat.
…you stay up 4 hrs past your normal bedtime to watch 4 minutes of tv.
…your morning shower is about an hour after you wake up.
...you have a spike wrench on your keychain.
...you've ever walked around with your hands in your pockets just so you could feel your quads flex with each stride.
...you learn the most about your teammates during practices where not one word is spoken.
…you laugh when someone tells you 800m is long distance.
…you hate walking up steps.
…the internal question: spikes or flats?
…made fun of the rotc people dying on their morning jog at 6 am.
…you've scoffed at military people trying to impress you with the times they had to get up to run.
…you have heard of coos bay, oregon. /portland,oregon
...can recognize a teammate by the sound of their breathing.
...you have contests to see who has the most blisters on their feet.
…drugs don’t come to mind when hearing “lsd” or “speed”
...the first 5 minutes of "endurance" is the best music video you have ever seen.
...you are happy if you place last with a good time or pissed off if you win with a bad time.
...you write directions to your house in metric and your friends aren't confused.
...you have to ask a girl to open the jar of pickles for you.
…you could watch a whole marathon and not get bored.
…you can use endorphins in a sentence.
...you've ever relieved yourself in an empty water bottle in the back of an athletic van.
...your idea of "quality time" is a cool-down jog together.
...when you run on a treadmill there's always an empty one to either side of you despite the line of guys waiting to use one.
…you get bored and start stretching.
…during class, you zone out and start looking at splits on your watch.
…you laugh when a math problem involves running times that are not fast.
…you have band aids on your nipples.
…you have a watch tan line.
…you have figured out a ways to sleep comfortably on a bus even with a large gym bag by your side.
…when running by a police radar, you sprint to see how fast your mph is.
…you have made countless “pump-up” cd’s.
…you and your teammates keep up with random non-running PRs like longest piss
…you try to apply every song’s lyrics to running.
…you do calf raises while brushing your teeth.
…when you drive you think about your speed in minutes/mile.
…you mumble expletives when someone is walking faster than you.
…you look for reflections off windows so you can analyze your stride.
…you practice drafting in every day life, driving and walking.
…you include running analogies in your papers.
…you hate all other sports.
…you have a natural inclination to run naked.
…you have asked the question “so…what are your pr’s?” more than once.
…instead of doing homework, you frequent web sites such as Trackshark.
…you think soda is bad for you....your toenails are black.
...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does.
...you need a magnifying glass to see your name in the paper.
...you have chafing in strange places.
...all your socks are either stained or torn.
...your underwear covers more than your uniform shorts.
...you run farther in a week than your bus travels for meets.
...the dogs have to hurry to keep up.
...you find yourself running between classes just because.
...the most enjoyable time you've had all month is a day off from practice.
...your coach won't give you a ride home.
...the first day of practice you run 5 miles but your coach says you only ran 2.
...you can spit while running.
...you go to a golf course to run.
...your friends go on the elevator and you beat them on the stairs.
...you finish the race looking like you wrestled a bear and you don't care.
...your temper is shorter that the distance that you ran.
...you'd rather run to school than drive.
...you combine phrases like "10 mile run" and "Easy Run" in the same breath.
...you can eat your weight in spaghetti.
...your highest heels are your training shoes.
...you debate the advantages of anti-perspirent vs. deoderant.
...the paint from the bathroom walls peels when you leave.
...you start the race in shorts and finish in a G-string.
...your spit strings from you chin and you don't even care.
...a meal involves more than 3 servings!
...if you schedule dates around meets.
...you spend more on training clothes than school clothes.
...you wear those same training clothes to school regularly.
...your christmas list includes more than one pair of running shoes.
...you've been to a golf course in every city but not to play golf.
...your entire family goes to X-C meets because they have been or will be on the team.
...your chest is as flat as your back.
...you feel lost without your water-bottle.
...you have running withdrawl if you don't run everyday.
...you eat spaghetti three times a day.
...the mile in P.E. becomes your warm-up.
...you wake up every morning in pain.
...gatorade is your drug of choice.
...you give up homecoming to go to a Meet.
...your Saturdays for the next 4 years are ruined.
...you can see your ribs thru your shirt.
...you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
...you were asked to be an extra for Schindler's List II.
...you enjoy running hills.
...you start to crave Power Bars.
...your favorite food group is carbohydrates.
...your women's team has leg hair longer than the grass they ran on.
...you can strip and change in a bus seat in less than 2 minutes.
...there are no flies by your gym locker.
...when you do bad you get to play longer.
...you find yourself in the middle of a football player's joke.
...your dessert is brussel sprouts.
...you foam at the mouth.
...you are always hungry.
...your running in your dreams.
...you have no life besides running.
...your weekends are shot.
...you wake up with cotton mouth.
...your are as skinny as a twig and have a stupid knit cap for the head.
...you can sharpen an axe blade on your calves.
...you can maintain a 5:30 pace uphill while throwing up.
...you try to impress girls by saying you're a fast finisher.
...you consider school as just a break between runs.
...you always stretch while waiting in the lunch line.
...your room smells like Icy-Hot and New-Skin.
...pizza, pasta, pizza, & pasta are your four food groups.
...your watch is more expensive and complicated than your car.
...even your dress shoes have spikes.
...Steve Prefontaine's Birthday is more important than yours.
...you aspire to pain.
...you know as many kinds of pain as eskimos have words for snow.
...you think spandex is a winter's passion statement.
...you never look behind you.
...you don't know what an "off-season" means.
...you have stress fractures.
...you hit targets with your snot rocket.
...your feet are comparable to rawhide.
...you're running and you don't know why.
...your friends refer to you as "the masochist".
...your spit hits everything but the ground.
...you drink more water than Free Willy
...you can't get the "All you can eat" at spaghetti restaurants
...you get pulled over after practice, and can't walk straight because you're so tired
...you routinely race dogs down the street...and win.
...dogs follow you everywhere you go
...you rabbit for the rabbit
...you have 3% or less body fat
...theres nothing like intervals to start the week off fresh!!
...you talk to your coaches more than your parents
...you'd rather run than watch T.V.
...watching the New York Marathon on T.V. made you get up and go for a run
...you can say "I like to run" in over five different languages
...you haven't had a pop in 6 months
...your cookie jar is filled with bagels
...you try to pick up a girl by telling her how fast your first mile is
...you're toe nails are fallen off
...a fatman with a gun says alright gentlemen take em off
...you can't go a day without some little brat saying run forest run
...some little kid wants to know why you're running in your underwear
...you're proud that another team has quadrupled you're score
...the seniors assist the freshman into the lake
...you wear skimpier clothes than Madonna
...you refer to puke as a normal bodily function
...people always ask you what events you are running
...you can hallucinate and get high at the same time without taking anything
...you can say more names of your runs than names of your friends
...you spend more time thinking about the scoring system than you do about scoring with
the opposite sex
...your fav time to run is in the rain
...Your shoes reek just as much if not worse than mold on a humid day