Blogs : Tyrone Ross

Why Have Thou Forsaken Me?

……The squeeze of life has taken the air from my lungs and the hope from my soul.  Tainted and dimmed the view of my dreams and keeps me awake at night.  So close but yet so far away is everything I could have ever hoped for.  The passion burns deep inside to make it all come true, but even deeper lies a crushed spirit.

The pile of dust that use to be my heart is blown across an ocean of tears and dissolved to a distant memory.  My brain that once manufactured and possessed my single dream has closed and is now vacant with a swinging “closed” sign of lost opportunity.

Write your plans in pencil and give God the eraser they say, well I know my plan wasn’t yours as I blow eraser residue from my palms. How could this happen? What exactly did I do to deserve this?  Every step of the journey has been traced with the blood of the past and molded with the DNA of the future.

How do I explain this pain? Where do I seek refuge? You know my heart! You know my dream! You know I failed!  This is more than just a sport to me; it’s a way of life. An escape from the everyday shelter of this heinous world.  Four years I waited for this moment, meticulously preparing for the marriage with my goals, but was left at the altar. A covenant made with my inner demons to overcome mediocrity and the status quo that is the‘runners life”.

Even as I write this, the real words escape the keyboard, fleeing effortlessly like the goal I once had.  At some point I will pick up the battered and wounded skeleton of my remains and warm up with the flame that still resides in my devastated corpse.  My flesh will return along with the fresh breath of opportunity and possibility.  I will ascend to heights that transcends my wildest imagination because I have favor… Favor that comes from living through the torment of failure and dreams unrealized. Favor that comes from realizing it is your will and not mine that shapes my future.  Favor that comes from not relying on my understanding as to…..

Why have thou forsaken me?

Untitled Comment

1:36 PM, June 20, 2008 .. Posted by mike brown

you said it--we don't rely on our own understanding and it's his will not ours.

thanks...

11:16 AM, July 9, 2008 .. Posted by just4chillin

I appreciate the comments. Yeah, it is not so much going back to NV to run as it is the start of a whole new adventure.

I skimmed some of your entries....full of detail. Are you saving them? You should put them in a book.

You are my inspiration......

2:15 PM, July 9, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

For you to even have the strength to take the time to write this is amazing. There are those who can relate and those, like me, who will never fully understand the pain, but these words, if anything else, have taken me one step further, in understanding, where you are right now. Beautiful!!!!!

Didn't Realize You Were So Poetic!!

10:22 PM, August 3, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

Happy belated birthday Roney! With that name used you know who it is. Tell your parents I said hello, haven't seen them since last summer :-)

Shaunte'